Attitude Adjustment

Hey guys! Yes. I am alive. I know I've been slacking on my blogger duties. My struggle has been what to blog on.. Though there have been many recent events happening in my life, none just felt right. So my reason for sitting up tonight typing away on my computer? *sigh* I owe an explanation. To say how I'm feeling.

I am a teenage girl. I have insane mood swings sometimes. Yes, I know that's not an excuse to be the way I am often times. But recently, I have been upset over many things; It's Christmas and my family is disassembled, I feel like I'm being treated like a little kid, I feel like no one trusts me, I'm tired of my family nagging on me, and many more things I'd rather not get into. These feelings controlled not only my actions, but my attitude. The other night, I came home from a tough day at my dad's. My family was sitting in the middle of the floor trying to figure out how to assemble our Christmas tree. I, being in a bad mood, went into my room to vent to my best friend about how much my life sucked. Finally I came out of my room and sat at the bar and pouted. I was feeling very self righteous. Upon texting my BFIJFFE, he told me to read my bible. That made me mad. The last thing I wanted to do was think about God. I replied with an "I will later". I got a "Now". "I'm busy." Then I realized how completely stubborn and stupid i was being. "*sigh* That was stupid. Hold on" I opened up my bible app on my phone and went to Philippians 2, where we've been studying. The headline for this chapter read "Have the Attitude of Christ". I was ready to throw my phone across the room and have a temper tantrum. I knew I was wrong, I knew I was being a butt head. But I'm stubborn and prideful. I reluctantly read on. Verse 4 says: "Don't look out only for your won interests, but take an interest in other's too. 5. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." Jesus has SO much to complain about. Like legit. And here I am. Being stupid.

I've made an important choice to track my progress through the bible on my blog. As I eventually finish Philippians and move on to whatever's next, I'd like to share my thoughts and feelings here. This will also help keep me accountable to blogging. That's all for tonight, just an outpouring of my heart. But I will be back tomorrow with more on Phil. 3. Looking forward to it.
-MJR